APP POST!

[failurefatale]

Character: Irina Jelavic
Series: Assassination Classroom/Ansatsu Kyoushitsu
Character Age: 20

Canon: When a monster threatens to destroy the Earth in a year's time unless someone can stop him, who you gonna call? Hint: it's in the title of the manga. Assassination Classroom is the story of Class 3-E's attempts to assassinate their new betentacled homeroom teacher, the indestructible Koro-sensei, with the fate of the world (and a 10 billion yen reward) at stake. But when world leaders really want a guy dead, who says they need to stop at kids armed with knives and rifles? Enter Irina Jelavic, an Actual Hitman hired by the Japanese government to enter Kunugigaoka Junior High as a language teacher and kill Koro-sensei from within the faculty, using her skills of infiltration, stunning good looks, and charisma. Her sex appeal and willingness to use it have made her a proven success as a professional assassin.

But it turns out that Irina is, to quote her students, "only beautiful on the outside." Trapped in her teaching job after blowing her cover and being forced to revise her plans, Irina earns the nickname "Bitch-sensei" by being haughty, immature, petty, rude, and generally inappropriate. Over time she's found her niche and improved her relationship with the kids, even opening up to them a little... though it's hard to say whether teaching students foreign languages using Sex and the City and things her assassination targets have said in bed is really a good niche to fit into. Still, even though she calls her kids brats and attempts to motivate them by threatening to make out with them if they answer questions wrong (and also right), she's still having more success on that front than she is killing their homeroom teacher - and boy, does that piss her off.


Sample Entry:

Tell us about yourself in a few words.
It's so nice to meet you, everyone! My name is Irina Jelavic! I hope we all get along! I've never been to America before, so I'm counting on you guys to help me blend in and learn all about this - great! - camp of yours! I hope you don't mind spending a little extra time with me. ♥

Why are you joining our happy community?
I'm here as a camp counselor, so I'll be helping to oversee your fun camp activities, enforce the camp rules, and keep you all safe from the dangers of this... really great and strong-smelling... place! Dammit, where's my Forbidden Euphoria body spray? This camp is not the kind of "sophisticated musk" I want on this body. But - anyway! A counselor's job is to lead young adults on the journey to the enchantments of adulthood -

Didn't anyone tell you you're too young to be hired as a counselor here?
Wait... h-hey, that's not true! Obviously, I'm right here! I can't possibly be too young to be hired for the job you hired me for. If I were, why would I even be here, guys?

Oh, geez, did we just blow your cover?
Yes! What do you think you're doing?! You can't even stick with the cover story when you're the people who come up with it? Fuck! You can't hire me as a counselor and then turn around and change things on me the second I show up! In public! What am I supposed to tell these brats now when they ask why I'm here? Dammit, I learned what a stupid lanyard is for this job! I pretended to "practice CPR" with that guy out in the canoe cabin!

So why are you joining our happy community?
Let's just get this over with, runts. I'm not a counselor, and not just because someone screwed this all up! I'm here because your friend Marcy made some enemies in some high places, and they want her taken down, so they decided to call in an experienced professional for the job. Trust me, it doesn't really matter if my cover's blown - she's a sitting squid! I'll be on my private jet and headed back to Japan by dinnertime as long as you stay out of my way. Got it?

Do you have any previous experience with assassinating tentacle monsters?
And who told you about that?! I mean - of course not! What a stupid question! Tentacle monsters. Come on! Ahaha! And if I did, I would definitely be the one to assassinate him. Like I would let some kids beat me at my own game... I'm a professional! I've traveled the world! I speak ten languages! I can kill whoever I damn well try to, even if he does travel through the air at Mach 20! I'd like to see you beat that, Marcy!

Are you lying on your previous answer?
I wouldn't just tell you losers if I were. That's the point of a lie. Someone working here obviously didn't get the memo on that. Have you ever even hired an assassin before?

Do you have a five year plan in mind?
It is not going to take me five years, assholes!!


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